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When my children’s school announced the abrupt end to the online school twilight zone with only a 7 day warning, I was in a panic. I’d become accustomed to lackadaisical morning routines and letting the children fend for themselves for lunches in the 24/7 home “cafeteria”. Not only did this mean that I could no longer wear pajama bottoms all day but I’d also have to start setting the alarm and barking commands at my children before they were even out of REM sleep.

I know I’m not alone in this. Most of our children have been used to sleeping in a bit later, catching up on schoolwork at their own pace, and sneaking off of online school to browse the endless entertainment categories on YouTube or social media. As parents or working parents, we’ve probably all done this too as a form of self-care and emotional survival during this uncertain time. Whether we’ve enjoyed this or not, all good (or bad) things must come to an end. The following are a few tips to make the transition back to in-person school less stressful on your child.

1. Get your child back on a sleep routine.

Even though we can function on less, everyone ideally needs 6-8 hours of quality sleep every night to perform at their best. Children and teens especially need at least 8-9 hours of quality sleep to be ready to learn and retain new information from school. The blue light emitted from cell phones, tablets, and laptops can cause interruption in the bodies natural melatonin production which can interfere with the quality of our sleep. Quality of sleep affects our ability to handle stress and regulate our emotions. Even if you feel like the bad guy, take those light emitting phones and digital devices away from your children at least an hour before bedtime, 2 hours is even better. Do yourself a favor and do the same for yourself.

2. Check in with your child daily about how they’re feeling.

Parents can unintentionally gloss over opportunities for real emotional exploration with their children by being too eager to hear the words “I’m fine.” Often times our own fears about not knowing exactly how to navigate uncomfortable or negative revelations make us speed through these important conversations with our children. Make sure to ask open-ended questions and really dig before closing the conversation. Instead of saying, “How was your day?” which gives children the chance to blow you off with an “It was fine”, alternatively ask a few different questions: “What was something hard that you did today?”, “Tell me a worry that you had today?”, and “What did you feel proud of yourself for today?” These give your child the opportunity to be introspective about their feelings which can launch a really healthy conversation about all the emotions they’re carrying.

3. Normalize your child’s worries.

As parents we sometimes feel like we have to be the strong ones, that we have to know all the answers, and have everything figured out. While it’s healthy and helpful that we regulate our own emotions during stressful times so that we don’t add to our child’s anxiousness or distress, it can be beneficial to be honest with our children about some of what we’re feeling. Saying something like, “I also feel uncertain about how the social distancing will look in the classroom with so many other students but I think everyone is going to keep doing their best to stay healthy and safe,” or “I’ve been enjoying my comfy pajamas too, this is going to feel different for me too.” Any ways that you can help your child feel normal will decrease the isolation they may feel.

4. Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.

If your child is struggling with anxiousness or worry, exercise can help to balance out their moods and emotions. Exercise is proven to reduce levels of anxiety and to boost mood. If group sports or activities are still restricted, children can still get plenty of exercise in other ways. Climbing stairs, jumping jacks, jump rope, city parks, nature hikes, or even find some free online exercise videos for kids. Where there is a will, there is a way.

When all else fails: This too shall pass. Just know that change is often difficult for most people and that with time, things will usually begin to feel better.

Author: Kellie Tomlin, LCSW. Kellie Tomlin is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist.

Whether the lockdown made us jump for joy or made us cringe in loathing loneliness, we all have likely experienced some challenges to our mental well-being throughout the past year. The silver lining of these forced changes is recognizing how important our mental health is and how caring for ourselves on a social emotional level should be a priority every year, not just during a pandemic. I’ve outlined a few tips to help ease the mental anguish of entering into a second year of this pandemic.

1.) Help Others

Routinely helping others can help improve your mental health during these uncertain times. Helping others can feel like a struggle when we’re experiencing uncertainty ourselves but it can be a beneficial distraction. Helping others is twofold, it not only allows you to take the focus off of what is going on with you but there is evidence that suggests the act of helping others promotes physiological changes in the brain. These endorphins bring an increase in happiness and mood boosting effects known as a “helpers high”. Helping others can be achieved in a variety of ways: volunteering at a food bank, delivering groceries to your neighbor, doing yard work for a senior, organizing a virtual fundraiser to help a local nonprofit, etc.

2.) Keep a routine

Even if your daily routine is feeling like Groundhog Day, maintaining some sense of normalcy is helpful to staying sane during times of change and uncertainty. Even if you’re now working from home, it’s important to stay in familiar daily routines. Still get up at a set time, eat meals at regular intervals, exercise, and stay in personal grooming routines even if you don’t leave the house for weeks. Having sporadic sleep/wake times and living in your pajamas can contribute to low mood. Similar to how the act of faking a smile can actually trigger mood-boosting neurotransmitters in the brain, the act of seeing ourselves look presentable in the mirror can have the same effect.

3.) Connection

Connecting to others can literally mean life or death. Just like newborn babies who are void of human interaction suffer significant social/emotional development deficits and failure to thrive, human connection is just as important in our adult lives. In-person connection can be difficult to do during a pandemic, especially with lockdown orders, but there are many ways to achieve connection without compromising safety. Reaching out to family and friends regularly on Social Media, phone, text, or video chat can bridge the gap. The mirror neurons in our brains feel connection through making eye-contact with another person so opt for video calling whenever possible. But take what you can get, just don’t isolate from all communication. Isolation is the worst possible thing for staying emotionally healthy.

4.) Exercise

There is an entire body of clinical research showing that exercise is leaps and bounds better than other methods for mood-improvement and anxiety reduction. Not only does exercise give you a boost of energy and improve mood, but it can help you sleep better and reduce blood pressure. But finding the motivation to exercise while riding the rollercoaster of anxiety or depression can be challenging. The key to keeping up with exercise is to start slowly so that you don’t feel discouraged by sheer exhaustion from pushing to far too fast. Adding a variety of exercises can help too: yoga, cycling, running, high intensity interval training (HIIT), hiking, weight-lifting, etc. Find an accountability partner and exercise via video chat together.

5.) Nature

Never underestimate the health benefits of getting out into nature and having a change in environment. Have you ever noticed that you feel a sense of calm when you sit around a campfire or go on a nature walk? There is a reason for that. Multiple studies have shown that being in nature calms activity in the prefrontal cortex of our brains. This is the part of the brain where worry and anxiety live. Even if you opt to just sit in your backyard for 15 minutes, the ultraviolet light from the sun helps our bodies produce vitamin D which has been linked to fighting off the flu and reducing depression.

6.) Bonus Tip: Music & laughter

When all else fails, keep laughter and music abundant. The effects of laughter have been proven to release feel good endorphins in the brain that keep us on a “laughter high” for hours. So watch your favorite funny videos online (Fail Army or AFV?), your favorite comedians, a funny podcast, or your favorite funny movies. Music is also an endorphin booster so listen to your favorite music on repeat all day, everyday if you need to. Can we laugh and blast our favorite music all the way till Fall?

All in all, we are adaptable humans and we can overcome most anything we put our minds to. Make sure to include self-care as a mental health priority for yourself this year.

Author: Kellie Tomlin, LCSW. Kellie Tomlin is a licensed clinical social worker and therapist.

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